1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
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2. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
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3. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
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4. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
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5. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
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6. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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7. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
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8. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
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9. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
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